Introduction: The Day Everything Changed
I want to tell you a story. A few years ago, I felt stuck in my coaching work. I was helping my clients, but I often felt tired. I saw them struggle with the same problems again and again. We would make a plan, they would feel better, but then old fears and habits would come back. I knew there was something missing. I was only helping them on the surface, not with the deep, old memories and beliefs that were causing the problems.
Then, I found Ho'oponopono (pronounced ho-oh-pono-pono).
At first, I thought it was too simple. How could saying four simple phrases—"I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you"—create any real change? It seemed almost magical, and I am a practical person. But I was desperate to help my clients in a deeper way, so I decided to try it.
The results were not just good; they were incredible. My clients started to have amazing changes, not just in their goals, but in their whole lives. Their relationships got better, their businesses grew, and they found a peace they never had before.
In this very long blog post, I will show you exactly how I integrated this ancient Hawaiian practice into my modern coaching programs. I will share real stories from my clients (with their permission, but names changed). My goal is to show you that you don't need to be a guru or a monk to use this. You can start today, in your own life and with your clients, and see the changes for yourself.
Your Original Heading: How I Integrated Ho‘oponopono into My Coaching Programs - With Client Examples and Results
When I first started, I was a beginner, just like you might be. I didn't understand everything. But I learned that Ho'oponopono is not about complicated rituals. It is about cleaning. Cleaning the negative memories, beliefs, and "data" inside of us that cause the same problems to happen again and again.
The modern version I use was made famous by Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len. He used this practice to heal a whole ward of criminals in a Hawaii hospital without even seeing them one-on-one. He would look at a patient's file, feel a problem within himself, and repeat the four phrases. As he cleaned his own inner world, the patients in the ward began to heal. This is the most important lesson: We are 100% responsible for everything that shows up in our life. Not to blame ourselves, but because we have the power to clean it.
This was a big shift for me and my clients. We are taught to blame others, our past, or our circumstances. Ho'oponopono teaches us to take back our power. If a client has a difficult boss, the problem is not the boss. The problem is the "data" or memory inside the client that is making them see a difficult boss. When we clean that data, the boss must change, or the client will find a new, better job. The situation always gets better.
Here is how I explain it to my clients in simple steps:
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See the Problem: Notice when you are upset, angry, or stressed. This is a signal that there is old data to clean.
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Take Responsibility: Say to yourself, "The problem is not out there. It is a memory inside me. I am responsible for cleaning it."
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Say the Phrases: Silently or aloud, say the four phrases to clean the data:
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I'm sorry: For allowing this memory to be in me.
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Please forgive me: For my part in creating or holding onto this pain.
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Thank you: For the chance to clean this memory and for the healing that is coming.
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I love you: To connect with the divine love inside me and to wash the memory clean.
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Let Go and Trust: You don't need to know how it will be fixed. Just trust that once the data is clean, the situation will change for the better.
Now, let me show you how this worked in real life with my clients.
Client Story 1: Sarah - Saving a Marriage from Divorce
The Situation Before Ho'oponopono
Sarah had been married for 15 years. When she came to me, she had already spoken to a lawyer about divorce. She was exhausted. She had a high-pressure job, two young children, and felt completely alone at home. Her husband, Mark, would come home from work, watch TV, and not help with the children, the cooking, or the cleaning. Sarah would nag him, they would argue, and then they would not speak for days. The house was filled with anger and silence. She loved him, but she couldn't live like this anymore. She was looking for communication strategies, but her heart was closed.
How We Integrated Ho'oponopono
In our first session, I introduced the idea of 100% responsibility. This was very hard for Sarah. She said, "Why should I say sorry? He is the one who isn't helping!" I explained that she wasn't apologizing to him. She was apologizing to the divine, or to life, for the memories of neglect and conflict inside her that were attracting this experience.
Her first assignment was simple: Every time she felt anger towards Mark, instead of nagging, she would go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and silently say the four phrases. She wasn't saying them to Mark. She was cleaning the data within herself that Mark was triggering.
The Step-by-Step Process and The Results
For the first week, nothing changed with Mark. But Sarah started to feel calmer. The act of saying the phrases gave her a way to release her anger instead of storing it. This was a small but important first result.
In the second week, she started cleaning while doing housework. While washing the dishes he had left in the sink, she would silently repeat, "I'm sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you, I love you." She was cleaning her resentment towards the dishes.
Then, something amazing happened. One evening, as she was cleaning in the kitchen, Mark came in and started helping her dry the dishes without being asked. She was so shocked she almost dropped a plate. A few days later, he came home early and played with the kids so she could rest. The arguments became less frequent. The silence was replaced with small, kind conversations.
After about six weeks, Sarah and Mark had a long, honest talk. He said he had felt her constant anger and had shut down. He didn't know how to connect. Now that her energy had softened, he felt safe to come back. Their marriage is now stronger than it has been in years. They are planning a second honeymoon. The problem was never just Mark; it was the shared, negative energy between them that Sarah started to clean from her side. When her side was clean, he had no choice but to respond differently.
Client Story 2: Maria - Finding Peace with a "Toxic" Boss
The Situation Before Ho'oponopono
Maria was a talented graphic designer. She loved her job—the creative work, the freedom, the pay. But her boss, Mr. Davis, was making her life miserable. He was a micromanager. He criticized her work in front of others, changed his mind constantly, and never said thank you. Maria was looking for another job because the stress was affecting her health. She called him "toxic."
How We Integrated Ho'oponopono
Maria's goal was to find a new job. I asked her, "What if you could change your current situation without having to leave?" She was skeptical. I introduced her to Ho'oponopono as an experiment. I told her, "Your boss is like a mirror, showing you a part of yourself that needs healing. Where in your life do you feel criticized? Where are you a perfectionist and critical of yourself?"
Her assignment was to do Ho'oponopono every time she thought about Mr. Davis or felt stressed by him. On her way to work, she would repeat the phrases. When she saw an email from him, she would say "Thank you, I love you" before opening it. When he criticized her in a meeting, she would silently clean the feeling of shame and anger inside her.
The Step-by-Step Process and The Results
The first change was inside Maria. She stopped dreading work. She saw her boss as her special cleaning project. This change in her attitude was the key.
After about two weeks of consistent cleaning, she came to our session amazed. "You won't believe what happened," she said. "I was in the breakroom, and Mr. Davis came in. He looked at me and said, 'Maria, that last design you did was excellent. Good job.' I almost fell over. He has never said anything like that before."
The changes continued. He began to trust her more. He stopped micromanaging her projects. The energy in the office became lighter. Six months later, based largely on Mr. Davis's glowing recommendation, Maria was promoted to a lead designer role. She never ended up leaving the company she loved. She realized that the "toxicity" was not just in him; it was also in her reaction to him. By cleaning her inner world, she changed her outer world completely.
Client Story 3: Tom - The Entrepreneur Releasing Financial Fear
The Situation Before Ho'oponopono
Tom was an entrepreneur with a small consulting business. He was good at his work, but he was always worried about money. He had a few difficult clients who paid late, argued about prices, and drained his energy. Tom was constantly stressed about finding the next client. He was working very hard, but his income was unstable. He came to me to build a "million-dollar mindset," but his fear was blocking him.
How We Integrated Ho'oponopono
I explained to Tom that his fear of not having enough money was old data—perhaps from his childhood or past experiences. His difficult clients were just reflections of this inner fear. To attract calm, respectful, and paying clients, he first needed to clean the fear inside himself.
We created a simple Ho'oponopono routine:
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Morning Cleaning: Every morning, he would meditate for 10 minutes, repeating the four phrases, focusing on clearing his fear of scarcity.
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Trigger Cleaning: Whenever a fearful thought about money came up, or when a difficult client called, he would immediately start repeating the phrases in his mind.
The Step-by-Step Process and The Results
Tom was very disciplined. After a few weeks, he reported that he felt less reactive. When a client complained, he didn't get defensive. He would listen and silently clean. This alone led to faster, easier conflict resolution.
Then, the big shifts started. One of his difficult clients suddenly paid their late invoice in full without being reminded. A week later, a past client referred a new, big project to him. This new client was easy to work with, respected his expertise, and paid on time.
Within three months, Tom's income increased by 40%. More importantly, his constant worry about money disappeared. He told me, "I finally understand. I was pushing money away with my fear. Now I feel open and ready to receive. Ho'oponopono cleaned out my 'poverty mindset'." He learned that prosperity is not just about action; it is first about inner cleaning.
Client Story 4: Arlene - A Grandmother Healing Family Conflict
The Situation Before Ho'oponopono
Arlene was a retired teacher, struggling with her teenage grandsons who lived with her. The oldest, Jake, refused to clean his room. It was a constant battle. She would remind him, he would get angry, and they would argue. The negative energy was affecting the whole family. She felt disrespected and didn't know what to do.
How We Integrated Ho'oponopono
Arlene was open to spiritual ideas. I taught her a method that some Ho'oponopono practitioners use: cleaning with water. I told her that water is a powerful cleaner in many traditions.
Her assignment was this:
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Get a glass of water.
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Place a piece of paper with Jake's name under the glass.
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Every day, as she looked at the glass, she would say the Ho'oponopono phrases. She was not cleaning Jake; she was cleaning her memories and beliefs about Jake being disobedient and messy.
The Step-by-Step Process and The Results
Arlene did this faithfully every morning. She stopped nagging Jake about his room. She focused only on her cleaning practice.
After about ten days, she heard noise from Jake's room. He was cleaning it! He came out with a bag of trash. But the story doesn't end there. The next week, Jake started a small yard work business for neighbors. He was taking initiative for the first time.
Arlene was amazed. By cleaning her own beliefs, she had freed Jake from the role of "the messy, difficult grandson." He was able to change because she stopped feeding the old story. The family harmony returned. This story shows that you don't need to be in the same room, or even tell the person, for Ho'oponopono to work. You are cleaning your connection to them.
Common Questions and Challenges for Coaches (And How to Solve Them)
When I teach this to other coaches or clients, they often have the same questions I had.
1. Question: "Why should I apologize for something I didn't do?"
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Answer: This is the biggest misunderstanding. You are not apologizing for the other person's actions. You are apologizing for how the memory of this problem exists within you. You are saying sorry for having the data that allows you to experience this pain. It is taking responsibility for your inner world, not taking blame for their actions.
2. Question: "Do I have to feel the words for it to work?"
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Answer: No. This is very important. You do not need to feel strong emotion. The cleaning happens on a deeper level than your conscious mind and feelings. Just saying the words is like pushing the "start" button on a washing machine. You trust the machine to clean the clothes. Trust the process to clean your memories. Consistency is more important than strong feeling.
3. Challenge: "My client says it's not working."
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Solution: This usually means they are looking for immediate, specific results. Teach them about "letting go." The practice is about cleaning, not controlling the outcome. Maybe the problem won't change in the way they expect, but it will always change for their highest good. Ask them to notice small shifts in their own peace of mind. That is the first sign of success.
4. Challenge: "How can I use this if my client doesn't know about it?"
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Solution: You don't always have to tell them! As a coach, you can clean on behalf of your client. Before a session, I silently say the phrases for myself and my client. When a client tells me a difficult story, I silently clean while listening. This makes me a clearer channel for them, and I can offer better insights. The session becomes more powerful for both of us.
A Simple Guide to Start Using Ho'oponopono in Your Coaching (And Your Life)
You can start today. Here is a simple plan:
For Yourself:
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Pick one problem. It could be a person, a fear, or a health issue.
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Commit to cleaning. Decide you will say the four phrases whenever you think of this problem, for at least one week.
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Use reminders. Put a sticky note on your computer or set a phone reminder that says "CLEAN."
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Keep a journal. Write down any small changes you notice in your feelings or in the situation.
For Your Clients:
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Introduce the concept gently. Explain 100% responsibility as a superpower, not a burden.
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Share a simple story (like one from this blog) to show how it works.
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Give them a simple first assignment. For example: "This week, when you feel stressed about [their problem], just whisper 'I love you' in your mind and see what happens."
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Discuss their experiences without judgment. Focus on their inner feeling of peace as the first success.
Conclusion: The Journey of Cleaning
Integrating Ho'oponopono into my coaching has been the most important change in my career. It moved me from being a coach who only gives advice and action plans to being a facilitator of deep, inner healing. The results speak for themselves: saved marriages, healed work relationships, financial growth, and peaceful families.
This practice is a journey, not a destination. There is always more data to clean. But now, I see every problem in my life or my clients' lives as a gift. It is a gift because it shows me what I need to clean next. And with each cleaning, I become lighter, freer, and more connected to the peace and love that is our true nature.
You have this power within you. Your clients have this power within them. You can start cleaning right now. Whatever problem you are thinking of, just say the words:
I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.
Trust the process. Your life and your coaching will never be the same.
🌸 About Neeti Keswani
Neeti Keswani is the founder of Plush Ink and host of the Luxury Unplugged Podcast, where luxury meets spirituality. As an author, storyteller, and self-improvement coach, she helps conscious creators and professionals align with purpose, identity, and abundance through mindset transformation and emotional healing.
Her mission is to empower people to live with intention, authenticity, and joy — blending inner work with outer success.
Connect with Neeti:
🎙️ Luxury Unplugged Podcast — https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/luxury-unplugged-podcast-where-luxury-meets-spirituality/id1551277118
📖 Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/keswanineeti/
💼 LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/neetikeswani/
🌐 Plush Ink — https://www.plush-ink.com