In today's world, stress and conflict are common. In our teams, workshops, and communities, misunderstandings can create tension and reduce productivity. What if there was a simple but powerful tool to help release these negative feelings and restore harmony? There is. It is an ancient Hawaiian practice called Ho'oponopono (pronounced HO-oh-Po-no-Po-no).
Originally a family practice, Ho'oponopono is a ritual of reconciliation and forgiveness. This Ho’oponopono Guide is for you, the workshop organizer, the team leader, the retreat planner. It will show you how to adapt this beautiful practice for a group setting. You will learn how to lead a session that can mend relationships, build understanding, and create a deeper connection among participants.
Your Workshop-Organising Side
This section directly addresses your original blog title and forms the core of this updated Ho’oponopono Guide. Previously, we might have focused only on the theory of Ho'oponopono. Now, we will dive into the practical "how-to" of leading a group session, using a modern, structured approach and comparing it with the rich traditional practices.
How to Lead a Group Ho'oponopono Session: A Step-by-Step Guide
The following instructions are inspired by modern adaptations of this practice for facilitation and conflict resolution. This process aims to restore balance, resolve conflicts, and let go of resentment within a group, making it a truly Impactful Session.
Goal of the Session: To restore balance and harmony within the group, resolve conflicts, repair damaged team dynamics, let go of resentment, facilitate open communication, and build understanding and compassion.
Duration: 60 to 90 minutes.
Participants: Small groups of 2 to 8 people work best for deeper work.
Step 1: Prepare the Space and Set the Intention
Before anyone arrives, your most important job is to create a safe container for the work. This is the foundation for everything that follows.
Find a Quiet Space: Choose a private room where you will not be interrupted. Soft lighting and a calm, neutral environment can help people feel at ease.
Arrange the Seating: Place chairs in a circle. A circle signifies equality, connection, and that everyone can see and be seen.
Set a Clear Intention: As the facilitator, be clear about the purpose of the session. Is it to resolve a specific conflict? Or to generally improve team harmony? You will state this intention at the start.
Agree on Time: Make sure to agree on a time for the session so you have a clear container.
Once participants are gathered, you can begin.
Step 2: Start with a Prayer or Moment of Silence
Traditional Ho'oponopono always begins with prayer. In a modern, secular setting, you can adapt this to a moment of silence, a short mindfulness exercise, or a simple invitation to set a personal intention for emotional restoration. This helps the group transition from their busy minds into a more reflective and open state.
Step 3: The Four Phases of Reconciliation
This is the core of the practice. If there is a specific conflict between two people, they can address each other directly. If the hurt is more general or within the whole group, you can adapt the steps as a guided reflection. The process is built on four key phrases: "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," and "I love you".
The table below outlines how to guide participants through each phrase.
| Phase | Purpose & Explanation | Example Prompts for the Facilitator |
|---|---|---|
| 1. Acknowledge the Harm ("I'm sorry") | Taking responsibility for one's own actions and their impact. This is not about admitting fault for everything, but acknowledging your role in the situation. | "Begin by acknowledging any harm you may have caused and express remorse for your actions. You might say something like, 'I'm sorry for the harm I caused. I understand that my actions had a negative impact, and I regret that.'" |
| 2. Ask for Forgiveness ("Please forgive me") | This is a humble request to repair trust. It acknowledges the other person's feelings and opens the door for reconciliation. | "Next, ask for forgiveness. This might sound like, 'I understand that my actions caused you pain. Can you forgive me?'" |
| 3. Express Gratitude ("Thank you") | Shifts the focus from the negative to appreciation. It thanks the other person for their willingness to work through the difficulty. | "Thank the other person for this opportunity to reconcile. For example, 'I am grateful to have this chance to repair our professional connection. Thank you for being willing to work through this with me.'" |
| 4. Express Love & Care ("I love you") | In a group or workplace, "love" translates to deep respect, care, and a commitment to the well-being of the team and its members. | "Finally, express care and understanding. You could say, 'I value our collaboration and care about you deeply. I am committed to moving forward in a positive way.'" |
Step 4: Moving Forward Together
After the emotional work of the four phases, it's important to ground the experience in practical, forward-looking actions.
Discuss Requests: This might involve taking specific actions to restore the professional connection. Ask: "What is one small thing we can do to support this new beginning?"
Make a Commitment: As a group, commit to more mindful communication in the future. This involves being more mindful of the impact of your actions on others.
Close the Session: Traditionally, the practice is closed with a ceremonial feast, or pani, often including eating limu kala (a type of seaweed), which is symbolic of the release. In your Powerful Group Experience, you could close with a simple sharing of a snack or tea, symbolizing the same release and renewed connection.
What Our Old Blog Didn't Cover: Deepening Your Understanding
The previous section gives you a direct tool to use. But to lead with confidence and respect, it's helpful to understand the roots and modern evolution of Ho'oponopono. This is the new, additional information that enriches your facilitation.
The Traditional Roots of Ho'oponopono
Traditional this ancient Hawaiian ritual was a family practice, led by the most senior family member or a respected elder. Its goal was to "put to rights" broken family relationships.
A Family Affair: Families would meet regularly—sometimes daily or weekly—to prevent problems from erupting. If someone became sick, they believed the illness was caused by the stress of anger, guilt, and lack of forgiveness, so the family would gather for Ho'oponopono.
The Role of the Leader: The facilitator guided the entire process, ensuring everyone was heard and that the family worked through problems cooperatively, not "holding fast to the fault".
Complete Release: The process ended with everyone releasing (kala) each other and cutting off the past ('oki), ensuring the issue would not be brought up again.
Comparison for Facilitators: As a modern facilitator, you are acting in the role of the traditional family elder. Your job is to hold the space, guide the process, and ensure a safe and respectful container for release, just as they did.
Modern Adaptations: From Family to Self-Help and Workplace
The practice has evolved significantly to fit contemporary contexts.
Morrnah Simeona's Contribution: In the 1970s, kahuna (healer) Morrnah Simeona adapted the group practice into a powerful self-help process. She reframed problems as the effects of negative karma or memories, which could be cleansed through a process of repentance, forgiveness, and gratitude directed to the Divine. This is where the four phrases began to be used as a prayer for cleaning mental baggage.
The Workplace Application: Today, the core principles are being applied in corporate settings to repair workplace relationships. The four phrases are translated into professional language:
"I'm sorry" becomes "Acknowledging Impact" (e.g., "I recognize my delay affected the team's timeline.").
"Please forgive me" becomes "Seeking Resolution" (e.g., "I want to make this right. How can we move forward?").
"Thank you" becomes "Expressing Gratitude" (e.g., "Thank you for your patience.").
"I love you" becomes "Cultivating Respect & Care" (e.g., "I value our collaboration.").
This modern take reduces workplace toxicity and builds psychological safety.
Real-Life Ho'oponopono Miracles
Reading about the steps is one thing; seeing its impact is another. Here are a few real-world examples from people who have used this practice.
Healing a Home: One grandmother was struggling with her grandsons, one of whom had a very messy room. Instead of arguing, she placed a glass of water (a cleaning tool in modern Ho'oponopono) on a paper with his name. Without any prompting, he later cleaned his room and even started doing yard work. She attributed this change to her consistent "cleaning" with the practice.
A Mother's Faith: A mother shared the story of her son who lost his eyesight after a tumor operation. Doctors told her he would never see again. She wrote, "I just kept silent and did my job—cleaning. Always cleaning." After years of dedicated practice, her son began to recognize letters, numbers, and colors again. She credits Ho'oponopono for this miracle of recovery and inner peace.
Financial Turnaround: Another person, after incorporating the phrases into her daily life, reported that her interpersonal dynamics improved and her finances shifted unexpectedly. She had $3,000 deposited into her bank account "from out of the blue" and a friend offered business equipment at a huge discount. Her conclusion was, "All I did was clean and hand my business to God".
Answering Your Questions as a Facilitator
Q: How can I use this with more than two people in a workshop?
A: The small group process outlined in the steps above is perfect for this. You can have participants pair up, or if the hurt is group-wide, you can lead a guided reflection where everyone reflects silently on the four phrases, directing them to the group as a whole. Having others present as witnesses can also be powerful, as it builds a collective energy of support and accountability.
Q: What if people are resistant or think it's too spiritual?
A: Frame it as a simple, practical communication tool for improving team psychological safety and accountability. Use the professional language from the workplace adaptation. Focus on the outcomes: reduced frustration, improved collaboration, and a more compassionate culture.
Q: Do the phrases have to be said out loud to a specific person?
A: Not at all. The restoration can happen internally. As one practitioner notes, you can repeat the phrases silently in your mind. The power is in the genuine feeling behind the words. You can say them to yourself, to a situation, or even to past trauma.
Conclusion: A Practice for Our Time
Leading a group Ho'oponopono session is a gift. It is a gift you give to your team, your workshop participants, and yourself. It is more than a conflict resolution tool; it is a way to build a culture of responsibility, gratitude, and deep respect. This Ho’oponopono Guide aims to be your companion in creating a Catalytic Event.
By understanding its traditional roots, applying the modern, practical steps, and witnessing its real-world impact, you are now equipped to guide others in this powerful practice of making things right. So, set your intention, create a safe space, and begin with a simple, "Let's start with a moment of quiet." The transformative healing that follows can be profound.
I am sorry for any confusion you may have had about this practice before.
Please forgive me for any omissions in this Ho’oponopono Guide.
Thank you for your dedication to bringing harmony and wellness to your groups.
I love you for the courage you show in doing this work.
🌸 About Neeti Keswani
Neeti Keswani is the founder of Plush Ink and host of the Luxury Unplugged Podcast, where luxury meets spirituality. As an author, storyteller, and self-improvement coach, she helps conscious creators and professionals align with purpose, identity, and abundance through mindset transformation and emotional healing.
Her mission is to empower people to live with intention, authenticity, and joy — blending inner work with outer success.
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