Introduction: The Invitation to Transform

What if your deepest pain could become the source of your greatest power? What if the journey through grief and fear wasn't a path to be endured, but a sacred transformation waiting to happen?

In a world that often tells us to "get over" our pain, the true path to healing lies in moving through it, not around it. This is a story of resilience. It’s a story of how one woman, Sheila, faced the unimaginable loss of her husband and, through her journey, discovered not just how to survive, but how to truly thrive. She learned how to turn grief into growth, fear into confidence, and whispers of intuition into a roaring guide for her life.

If you've ever felt stuck, guilty for prioritizing yourself, or lost in the relentless tide of overwhelm, this story is your gentle reminder. Your power is not lost; it is within reach, waiting to be reclaimed. This is more than a story; it's a roadmap for your own transformation, a guide to building self-worth and unlocking your potential through personal development and profound self-discovery.

Part 1: The Foundation - Embracing Grief as a Sacred Journey

Sheila's world shifted when her husband passed away, leaving her and their 15-year-old daughter, Sydney, to navigate a new reality. The initial grief was a "heartfelt ache," a pain that could have easily become a permanent resident in her soul. But Sheila made a conscious, albeit unconscious, choice: she would not let the grief define her; she would let it transform her.

The Power of the Pen: 2,000 Letters of Love and Letting Go

In the face of overwhelming loss, Sheila turned to a simple, profound tool: journaling. But hers wasn't a generic diary; it was a dedicated, six-year practice of writing a letter to her husband every single day.

"I needed to communicate," she recalls. "I wanted to hold on to him, to cherish our memories, and to tell him what was going on with our kid... I wrote about paying a bill, Sydney getting her driver's license, memories of trips we had taken. I just needed to remember."

This practice became her anchor. It was a dedicated space for healing, a ritual that grounded her through the chaos. She wasn't consciously thinking, "This is helping me." Instead, she was authentically connecting, celebrating a life, and processing her grief in real-time.

• The Lesson: Grief is not a linear process. Healing begins when we create a safe space to honor our pain, our memories, and our love. This act of courageous vulnerability is the first step in turning grief into growth. This powerful self-discovery tool allowed her to process emotions and begin her transformation.

Part 2: The Turning Point - From "Party of One" to Person of Power

For years, Sheila moved through the motions. She worked, she parented, but she felt like a "party of one"—a label that reflected her sense of incompletion. The true transformation began not with a giant leap, but with a series of tiny, almost imperceptible steps.

The Piece of Art That Changed Everything

Four and a half years into her grief journey, Sheila mustered the courage to take down a piece of art in her home that her husband had loved but she didn't fully connect with. She didn't even remove it from the house; she simply leaned it against the wall.

In its place, she hung something she loved.

"It was little tiny baby steps," she says. "But as I started to do things for me, I started to find who I was... The minute I started to really put myself first, my healing began and that confidence took hold."

This was the pivotal moment where fear began to morph into fierce confidence. She realized that prioritizing herself wasn't an act of betrayal; it was an act of self-love and rebuilding. It was the moment she stopped being led by her circumstances and started leading with her newfound confidence.

• The Lesson: Building self-worth often starts with the smallest acts of self-love. Choosing yourself, even in seemingly insignificant ways, sends a powerful message to your subconscious: I matter. This is the bedrock of personal development and the key to overcoming fear.

Part 3: The Core Philosophy - Leading with Confidence, Not Fear

Sheila's personal transformation directly shaped her professional calling as an empowerment coach. Her core philosophy is simple yet revolutionary: we must lead with confidence, not fear.

The Evidence of Your Own Power

A major barrier to confidence is the belief that we don't have any power. Sheila challenges this by pointing to the evidence we consistently ignore.

"People just don't realize that there's evidence of it," she explains. "But you have to see evidence in your life when things are working... If you just stop and pause and look at your life, you'll realize that we have so much power, and we just give our power away all the time by thinking we don't have any."

She uses the example of a daunting bill. You can be paralyzed by the fear of it, or you can acknowledge the fear but choose to be led by the confidence that you will find a solution. The bill is the same; your orientation to it is what creates transformation. This mindset shift is crucial for overcoming overwhelm and unlocking your potential.

Part 4: Practical Tools for Your Transformation

Understanding the philosophy is one thing; living it is another. Sheila provides actionable, simple tools to break the cycle of guilt, fear, and low self-worth.

Tool #1: The "Success Inventory" for Building Self-Worth

This is a powerful exercise to build a foundation of genuine self-worth, far beyond surface-level affirmations.

1. Write It Down: Take a journal and write down every single success you've ever had. No win is too small. Got out of bed? Write it down. Made a doctor's appointment? Write it down. Said "no" to something that drained you? Write it down. Changed jobs, helped a friend, learned a new recipe—it all counts.

2. Read It Aloud: This is the crucial step. Read your list out loud. "When you hear it out loud," Sheila says, "you're like, 'Wow, wait a minute. I did do that.'" This auditory reinforcement makes your accomplishments real and tangible, directly combatting feelings of inadequacy and overwhelm.

This practice is a direct path to building self-worth and is a cornerstone of effective personal development. It provides undeniable evidence of your resilience and capability.

Tool #2: Rewrite Your Inner Narrative

We constantly engage in negative self-talk without even realizing it. To overcome fear, we must become aware of and rewrite this story.

"The minute we [think something negative], we have to be very self-aware and to stop and to rewrite that story," Sheila advises.

Instead of "I'll never figure this out," try "I'm doing the best I can, and I've solved hard things before." Instead of "I don't have what it takes," try "I am grateful for the skills I have and I am capable of learning." The new story must be believable. This daily practice is essential for building confidence and continuing your transformation.

Part 5: The Breadcrumbs - Following Intuition to Your Purpose

A central theme in Sheila's journey is what she calls the "breadcrumbs" approach. This is about tuning into your intuition and saying "yes" to the small opportunities life presents.

Saying Yes to the Clues

"These opportunities are like little clues, the little breadcrumbs," she says. "They're so subtle sometimes that we run over them to get to the bigger thing."

She shares a story about saying "yes" to visiting a college with her daughter, a trip that felt like a small, logical step. That "yes" led to a series of events that ultimately confirmed it was the right school. By following these breadcrumbs—a conversation, an invitation, a gut feeling—we allow the universe to guide us on our path. This is the practice of trusting your intuition, a critical skill for unlocking your potential and finding your life's purpose. This entire process is a beautiful journey of self-discovery.

The Gift of Disappointment

An "interesting twist" on this, Sheila notes, is learning to say "yes" to disappointments. "We have to say yes to that," she insists. "The universe is leading us to something so much better."

Often, a closed door or a failed plan protects us from a path that wasn't right and clears the way for something far more aligned with our true purpose. Embracing this requires deep resilience and trust in the journey of transformation.

Part 6: The Mindset Shift - Your Power is Within Reach

For anyone feeling powerless today, Sheila offers one simple, potent nugget of wisdom—a mindset shift to initiate immediate change.

"Start to believe and to know—you have to actually say it, even if you don't believe it at first—that you do have power," she states. "You can control some things in your life. Not everything, but you do have the power to control some things."

Repeat this to yourself:

• "I have the power to control my response."

• "I will not be led by fear or worry today."

• "I believe I have been put here for a purpose."

• "I am a powerful human."

This declaration is the spark. It is the conscious choice to stop being a victim of circumstance and start being the author of your transformation. It is the first step in overcoming overwhelm and building a life of fierce confidence.

Conclusion: Your Journey Awaits

Sheila's story is a profound testament to the human spirit's resilience. It proves that grief and fear do not have to be endpoints. They can be the very catalysts that propel us into a life of deeper meaning, unshakable confidence, and authentic purpose.

The journey from heartache to wholeness is a personal one, but you do not have to walk it alone. It is paved with the practices of self-love, the courage to follow your intuition, and the daily decision to lead with confidence.

Your transformation is within reach. It begins with a single step, a single "yes," a single act of choosing yourself. Start your healing today. Start building your self-worth. Your power has been there all along.

 

Luxury Unplugged Podcast Transcript

Host: Neeti Keswani
Guest: Sheila

(Podcast Intro Music)

Neeti Keswani: Welcome to another soulful episode of Luxury Unplugged, the podcast where inner transformation meets outer elegance. Meaning, you'll have a whole self-improvement, transformational journey. I'm your host, Neeti Keswani, and today we're diving deep into a story of resilience, healing, and leadership even in the face of loss.

Our guest today is somebody who lost her husband, but she did not let that heartbreaking ache define her. Instead, she made it into a sacred journey of transformation. So today, we are exploring how she turned grief into growth, fear into fierce confidence, and whispers of intuition into a guiding force. So if you've ever felt stuck, guilty for choosing yourself, or lost in overwhelm, this conversation is a gentle reminder of the power that is always within your reach.

Let's get started. Let's welcome Sheila.

Welcome, Sheila!

Sheila: Thank you so much for having me. It's wonderful.

Neeti Keswani: So lovely to have you, Sheila. We'd like to understand a bit about what you do and how you do it, despite the kind of grief that you've gone through.

Sheila: Yes. Well, I am an empowerment coach, helping women pretty much lead with confidence, because that is everything. There's so many things that are going on outside of us, but we have to remember that it's what's inside of us that's very powerful. Right? And I learned this, you know, after I had gone through my grief journey, after my husband passed away. Yes.

Neeti Keswani: Yeah. And so now, you've mentioned the 2,000 letters that you wrote to your husband, and how journaling helped you in your transformational journey.

Sheila: You know, I didn't know that would help me. It's interesting—you just try to get through the day, one day after the next, like anybody going through grief. And I actually wanted to talk to him. I think I just wanted to hold on to him and not let him go. I wanted to cherish our memories, and I wanted him to be proud of me and tell him what was going on with our kid. Sydney was 15 when he passed away, so that's a difficult age. And I needed to write to him. I needed to communicate.

So, I had a lot of journals in my home, and I started to write a letter a day to him. It was about, "I paid a bill," "Sydney got her driver's license," whatever, and then memories of trips we had taken, things I just needed to remember. I didn't want to let him go. And yes, I wrote for six years straight, every day. It was good for me. It grounded me because I knew in the evening I'm going to write a letter. It sort of got me through the day, but I wasn't thinking consciously, "This is helping me." I had no idea if it would help, but it was extremely empowering because I was embracing and I was celebrating a life. And it was actually very empowering at the end of the day. I didn't realize it as I was going through it, though. No, writing journaling is so powerful. I just did it in the way of letters.

Neeti Keswani: So basically, it was just a way for you to connect authentically with him, sort of thinking that he's just around the corner, and letting your heart out.

Sheila: Yes. Yes.

Neeti Keswani: So, coming to your style of conducting business now as a coach, you talk about confidence and empowering women. What was that exact moment when confidence really finally made you overpower your fear and take you through this journey of coaching?

Sheila: Yeah, it's interesting. I think it was probably maybe in my fourth or even fifth year of grieving. I mean, it didn't happen right away. I don't know why I started to think about what is on the other side of grief? What is on the other side of fear? Because I was going through the motions. I mean, I worked, I had a child, I was going through the motions, but I was used to having a partner. I didn't want to be what I called myself "a party of one." I didn't like that.

And it was about my fourth or fifth year, I started to think more of myself. It's very interesting. I started to think... like, my husband Bob and I agreed on art for the most part, as an example, but I liked slightly different kinds of art than he did. And it took me four and a half years to remove a piece of art he liked more than me. I removed it off the wall. I remember this. And I leaned it against the wall on the floor. I couldn't even move it out of the house. I felt so odd about that. And I started to put my art up on the wall, things I liked.

And I realized, again, you don't realize it when you're doing it. It's little tiny baby steps. But as I started to do things for me, I started to find who I was. It's sort of incredible. It's not that I was letting him go; it's not diminishing anything. But the minute I started to really put myself first, my healing began and that confidence took hold. So, we have to really believe that we have a purpose and follow it. And I realize there's so much power in all of us. Oh my gosh, there's so much power. But we stay closed off. We're so afraid, for whatever reason. We're so afraid. And that pattern is a terrible pattern, but we get comfortable in it. We get comfortable in grief even though it's terrible. So that moment where I started to actually start to do things for me, think of me first, that was the beginning of my confidence journey. And I know it works, so I try to help others with that.

Neeti Keswani: Right. So, when you talk about the leadership lesson that came out of this emotional struggle, how is it shaping your coaching business today?

Sheila: Yeah, well, I just believe that every person has... people just don't believe this because they don't realize that there's evidence of it. But you have to see evidence in your life when things are working. But things happen so fast, or if it's a small thing, people don't even realize that there's evidence. So, if you just stop and pause and look at your life, you'll realize that we have so much power, and we just give our power away all the time by thinking we don't have any. "We don't have any, so we don't have any."

And it's really helped me understand that through my journey. And, you know, people have all different kinds of issues. They can't set boundaries with people, they're overwhelmed with their new business... whatever it is, that's all confidence. They talk negatively about themselves. Everything is, how are you building yourself up? And knowing that you have this incredible power inside of you. And anything can be going on outside—and there's a lot going on outside—but we don't have to be led by fear. We can lead by confidence. That's the whole thing. I remember a bill would come in, you know, and bills are scary, and I would be led by that. And I decided, no, that bill is still there, I still have to figure out how to pay it, but I will not be led by that. That is the difference.

Neeti Keswani: Right. Well, in our coaching workshops, as well as with the people that have approached us, many women are feeling very trapped by guilt or fear, especially when they're trying to prioritize themselves. How do you break that cycle? How do you become self-worthy? What's your take on that? How do you set your boundaries?

Sheila: Yeah. The first thing is it's really important to like who you are. And people say they do, but I'm telling you, they don't. They really don't. And it's because it goes deep and all that stuff.

So, I do something very simple, you know, because sometimes very simple actions have huge results. I have people take out a piece of paper or a journal or whatever, and write down a list of every single success they've ever had, every win. Tiny, tiny. They got out of bed. They made a doctor's appointment. They took a class. They said yes to helping a friend. Whatever it is, write it down. Maybe they changed jobs, that they traveled, whatever it is. They got their kid through college. Whatever it is, and write this list down. Because people never think of these things, ever. They just do it. They go about their business, and they don't think they're worthy of anything.

Then, after they've written it down—this is super important—read it out loud. When you hear it out loud, you're like, "Wow, wait a minute. I did do that." And it really builds this sense of accomplishment. And that's the very beginning. You have to believe in yourself. And you can't just do an affirmation; that doesn't work. I mean, affirmations are great, but you have to have the foundation behind it, right? And just say, "Wait, I did do that." And when I did that myself, the first time I did that for myself, I was like, "Oh my god, I could not believe." And I was going... it doesn't have to be chronological, it's anything you can think of. It's unbelievable.

Neeti Keswani: So, gratitude in the sense—which is very heartfelt, which is genuine and authentic—is the base, is the foundation. That belief that it will give you to build that confidence, that overpowering the fear to come out of it.

Sheila: Yes. And another thing that also really helps is, any time that you think something negative about yourself, a put-down—we do this, we do this automatically, we don't even know we're doing it—the minute we do it, to be very self-aware and to stop and to rewrite that story. Right? To say, "I can't do it," or "I don't have the money," or "It'll never happen." Whatever those things are that we just do automatically, we have to change that story to something believable. Not something unbelievable, because it won't work. Something more like, "I'm doing the best I can." "I'm really proud of myself today." "I'm really grateful for that hot cup of coffee or tea I had." And "I'm really grateful that I have running water." Something really simple. Very simple. That is very believable. Must be believable. "I've made it. I have had hardships before and I made it through. I'm going to be okay." Very easy things. People think it has to be giant and big, and I don't think it starts there.

Neeti Keswani: Sort of taking out examples and experiences and making them as your anchor points to come back and say, "I did that, I can do it again."

Sheila: Correct. Very important. And to always be grateful. Always be grateful and always celebrate. Because what it is, is you're coming back to yourself again. Right? And people don't like to be... they think it's selfish. It is, but we've learned growing up that we're not supposed to go out of those lines, and we're not supposed to boast. But it's not boasting. We've been put here not just to take up space. We've been put here for a purpose. And how can we do our purpose if we don't embrace ourselves first? Right? And be grateful for everything.

Neeti Keswani: Right. So, while I was reading about you and your blog before our conversation, I was thinking about this "breadcrumbs" approach that you have, that guide path. What is that exactly?

Sheila: Yeah. So, a book I'm going to be publishing soon is all about saying yes to opportunities, because there are these opportunities that are like little clues, the little breadcrumbs. And again, they're so little, they're so subtle sometimes that we run over them to get to the bigger thing. We always want the bigger thing. But there are these little clues that are leading us on our path, right?

You know, maybe saying yes to you, that's a breadcrumb. Maybe somebody will hear this and they'll feel uplifted. You have to say yes to everything. When I was helping my kid look at colleges a while ago, and Sydney was going to be a theater major and wanted to be in a city college in a big city... anyway, so I was looking at a college in Chicago, and I looked at their theater program and they had a musical they were going to be producing and performing. And I said yes to the opportunity. I didn't know this at the time, but when I look back at it, I said yes. I didn't go, and all the parents are going to go, "No." I wanted to see that theater production. I wanted to meet the... you know, are they good at this? And said yes to going. Did it, got us there, saw the production, met the head of the theater department. It was actually amazing, it was amazing. Got home, and Sydney said yes to going to that college. So, saying yes to that opportunity was right there. I could have said no. We say no all the time.

Another very important thing about that, also, it's an interesting twist on it, is disappointments. We have all had disappointments. I have had terrible, terrible things, terrible disappointments. We have to say yes to that. You know why? The universe is leading us to something so much better. So much better. That has happened to me where I've been so angry about something that didn't happen, about a career, whatever it was, so thankful it didn't happen because it led me to so much bigger.

So, we want to say yes to the opportunities and let go of this stuff because we're being led. We really are being led. And just keep saying yes to those tiny little breadcrumbs. They're taking us on our path. Could be somebody that helps you, tells you about a class you've been wanting to take, and you're like, "Wait, I met that person for coffee. I said yes to coffee. I didn't know something amazing would come out of it."

Neeti Keswani: Yeah, right. So it's about your spiritual insight, your divine guidance, sort of that plays the role in the intuition that you're talking about. You have to be intuitively guided for taking up these opportunities, right? Because it has to feel right before you take them.

Sheila: Yeah. You have to listen to your gut, and you have to always follow your intuition. And if you're excited, it's the right thing. Now, you could be scared because it's exciting. But if you're excited, it's okay to be scared about that. But it's not okay if you're not feeling good about it. Then you're like, "You know, this feels off. I'm not aligning with it." You have to pay attention to yourself.

Neeti Keswani: True. So, for someone listening who feels completely powerless—let's say today, not every day, but today—what's your one simple nugget, one simple mindset shift that they can try right now?

Sheila: I think that to start to believe and to know—you have to actually say it, even if you don't believe it at first—that you do have power. You can control some things in your life. Not everything, but you do have the power to control some things. And you have the power to say, "I am not going to be led by that fear, that worry, that thing that's going on. I still know who I am. And I believe that I have been put here for a purpose. And there's something inside of me that's important. And I am a powerful human." Right? And I think that that is a beginning to it.

Neeti Keswani: So, thank you so much, Sheila. It's been a good podcast, a short one, but a really good one. So, can you tell people where they can learn more about you?

Sheila: Sure. If anybody wanted to learn more about me, they can go to my website, which is liveoutcoaching.com. I offer complimentary calls for anybody who just wants to understand more.

Neeti Keswani: Absolutely. Thank you so much for your time.

Sheila: Thank you. I really appreciated this.

Neeti Keswani: You're most welcome, Sheila.

(Transition Music)

Neeti Keswani: So, this is for our viewers. Hope you really enjoyed this episode. We dove into the story of resilience, fear, and self-improvement—this leadership journey through loss. Hopefully, it has left you with some nuggets which are going to help you in your self-improvement journey. Keep coming back for more. Until then, sign