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EQ Is the New IQ: Emotional Intelligence That Elevates Influence

By Neeti Keswani – Business Storytelling Coach | Ho’oponopono Practitioner | Host of Luxury Unplugged Podcast

Emotional Intelligence isn’t just a buzzword-it’s the new edge. In business, in leadership, and in how we live and connect.

Hi, I’m Neeti Keswani, Business Storytelling Coach and host of the Luxury Unplugged Podcast, where luxury meets spirituality. Through this platform, I help professionals and purpose-driven entrepreneurs align their identity, emotions, and story to elevate not just their brand but their entire presence.

In today’s post, we’re diving into something that I deeply live and coach by-Emotional Intelligence, also known as EQ. If you’ve ever wondered how some leaders influence without overpowering, speak without shouting, and lead without burning out-it all traces back to this one powerful skill.

Here are the top 10 questions I get from coaching clients, leaders, and creators when it comes to emotional intelligence—and how you can harness EQ to influence, lead, and thrive with grace.


The Four Pillars of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is often broken down into four key domains:

Within these domains lies a suite of 12 core competencies—skills you draw on every day, whether you’re navigating a tense client call or rallying your team before a big launch. These aren’t just “nice-to-haves.” They’re foundational qualities that help you thrive at work and in life.

The best part? While emotional intelligence begins developing in childhood, it’s never too late to grow these skills. Anyone—at any stage—can deepen their EQ and become a more effective, empathetic leader. In fact, no one can truly excel without developing these capabilities across the board.


Q2: What’s the difference between being emotionally closed, emotionally dysfunctional, and emotionally underdeveloped?

A2: Great question—because not all emotional hurdles are created equal.

Understanding these distinctions isn’t just academic; it’s a blueprint for growth. Once you know what you’re dealing with, you can tailor your approach—whether you’re leading a team or working on your own self-mastery.

Q2: What disciplines or fields contribute to effective emotional intelligence coaching?

A2: Emotional intelligence coaching draws from a robust toolkit—think of it as cross-training for your leadership muscles. Core disciplines include psychology (for understanding human thought and behavior), leadership theory (for strategic guidance), management science (to sharpen organizational skills), and even threads of sociology (to decode group dynamics and company culture).

This blend means an effective coaching journey incorporates:

The result? Coaching transforms from simple advice-giving into a dynamic, actionable roadmap for growth—one that’s tailored to the complexities of leading real, imperfect humans.

Q2: How does EQ elevate influence more than IQ?

A2: Influence is not just about what you know, but about how you make people feel. IQ might help you solve problems or ace a test, but EQ builds trust, loyalty, and connection. It’s the reason people listen when you speak and follow when you lead.

In my coaching practice, I’ve seen highly intellectual individuals struggle to connect with their teams or clients—while emotionally intelligent leaders create impact with fewer words but deeper presence. Luxury is not in performance—it’s in presence.


Navigating Natural Differences in Emotional Intelligence

When it comes to coaching, it’s essential to recognize that everyone sits somewhere unique on the emotional intelligence spectrum. Some folks channel their inner Brené Brown and seem to “get” others instantly, while others need a little more guidance to tune into emotion—both their own and everyone else’s.

For coaches, this means playing jazz, not following sheet music. If a client arrives with naturally high EQ, the work often revolves around refining their strengths and helping them leverage those skills for greater impact. But when a client’s emotional awareness needs nurturing, your role shifts to gentle educator—offering practical tools, tough questions, and the kind of feedback that inspires growth (not self-doubt).

Adapting your approach isn’t just smart—it’s necessary. By meeting clients where they are, you foster more meaningful progress, whether you’re guiding a future Simon Sinek or helping someone just step onto the path of self-awareness.

Q3: What are the signs of a highly emotionally intelligent person?

A3: Some signs include:

But let’s go deeper.

Emotionally intelligent people don’t just glide through life with Zen-like calm—they’re acutely aware of their own emotional states and how those emotions ripple out to affect others. They can weather mood swings, setbacks, or criticism without letting those moments define their actions or relationships. They don’t let a bad meeting spiral into a bad week.

Often, you’ll notice they’re the ones who can navigate high-stakes conversations without getting defensive or derailed. They’re able to step back, check their own reactions, and read the emotions in the room—especially when tensions run high. This ability isn’t just about staying “nice;” it’s about being genuinely effective.

Think about the colleague who never seems rattled by office politics, or the manager who knows exactly when to challenge, when to support, and when to simply listen. These are the people who don’t need to dominate. They guide with awareness and influence with authenticity. This is what I call “soulful leadership”—a style I help my clients embody through storytelling and identity work.

In short: You can spot a highly emotionally intelligent person not because they’re always cheerful or agreeable, but because they manage themselves—and the energy of those around them—with intention. That’s the through-line connecting true leadership and lasting influence.

Low vs. High Emotional Intelligence: DISC Test Examples

When people ask, “How do I spot low versus high emotional intelligence in real life?” I love referencing the DISC model—because it reveals exactly how emotional intelligence shows up through different personality types. Let’s explore what this looks like, and how a shift from low to high EQ can completely transform your leadership presence:

Dominance (D):

Influence (I):

Steadiness (S):

Compliance (C):

When you move from reaction (low EQ) to intention (high EQ), the same situations can bring out qualities like assertiveness, patience, adaptability, and genuine curiosity. It’s this shift that turns everyday interactions into a foundation for soulful leadership—where you lead not just with intellect, but with heart.


How Is Emotional Intelligence Commonly Assessed?

When it comes to measuring emotional intelligence, there are a handful of assessment tools that have stood the test of time—and science.

One widely respected option is the EQ-i 2.0 (Emotional Quotient Inventory), a tool rooted in years of psychological research. This assessment evaluates a spectrum of competencies, looking beyond surface-level behaviors to provide insight into areas like leadership capability, team effectiveness, adaptability, and personal well-being.

These assessments typically measure skills such as:

The goal isn’t just to attach a “score,” but to create a roadmap for genuine growth and meaningful results—because at the heart of it all, emotional intelligence is not about checking boxes. It’s about understanding and evolving the deeper currents that shape how we lead, connect, and show up every day.

Q4: How did Emotional Intelligence change your own leadership journey?

A4: Before building my brand or guiding others through theirs, I had to unlearn old patterns—people-pleasing, over-explaining, burnout. I realized that clarity of mind without emotional clarity leads to misalignment.

It’s easy to underestimate how much our emotions shape everything—our careers, our relationships, even our sense of self. I’ve witnessed brilliant people miss out on opportunities, not for lack of knowledge or skill, but because they struggled to manage their emotions or connect with others. Sometimes it’s social anxiety, sometimes it’s mood swings, and sometimes it’s simply not realizing how their behavior is holding them back. I’ve seen talented leaders stall out because they couldn’t handle feedback, or because empathy was missing from their toolkit. Even the most likable, emotionally astute people can plateau if they haven’t developed a steady relationship with their feelings—especially under pressure.

We all know those “people persons” who seem to thrive, not because they have every answer, but because they read the room, manage their responses, and handle pressure gracefully. That’s emotional intelligence in action.

Embracing emotional intelligence meant I could listen better, set clearer boundaries, and show up more intentionally in my coaching and content. It’s how I shifted from pushing outcomes to attracting aligned opportunities.

EQ didn’t just make me a better entrepreneur. It made me a better storyteller, a better listener, and a more present human being.

When we undervalue the role of emotions in our daily decisions, we miss the thread that quietly weaves through our lives and careers. Emotional clarity is the foundation for everything that follows—whether you’re leading a team, building a brand, or just trying to show up as your best self.


Q5: Is EQ something you’re born with, or can it be developed?

A5: It’s absolutely developable.

Just like muscles grow with intentional movement, your EQ grows with intentional reflection. My coaching clients often say, “But I’m not naturally empathetic” or “I lose my cool easily.” That’s not fixed—it’s learned behavior.

Through practices like Ho’oponopono, identity shifting, journaling, breathwork, and reflection tools (like the Best Version Blueprint I offer), you can build emotional awareness and regulation.

EQ is a skillset, not a personality trait.


How Emotional Intelligence Coaching Actually Works

Think of emotional intelligence coaching as a communication strategy designed to help you regain control of your life—by shining a light on the emotional blind spots that might be costing you dearly at home or work. But here’s the key: Knowing your emotional shortcomings is only the first step. True, lasting change comes from developing new skills, putting them into action, and learning from your experiences.

A strong EQ coaching process involves:

The coach’s role? To guide you, not spoon-feed you—so you build self-sustaining cycles of self-observation, pattern recognition, and action. Over time, this opens you up to valuable feedback and deeper self-awareness, making emotional intelligence something you do—not just something you have.


How Coaches Can Make a Great First Impression

Your first session with a new client is like opening a new book: you set the tone for the story ahead. To truly shine in that initial meeting, approach it with curiosity, clarity, and a sprinkle of genuine care.

Here’s what works wonders:

Remember, every great coaching relationship starts with presence, trust, and the willingness to meet your client where they are—no fancy scripts required.

What Should a Coach Assess Before Diving Into EQ Coaching?

Before we even lace up our coaching shoes, there are a couple of key things to look for:

Simply put: readiness is everything. Before tackling EQ, a coach should ensure that the client not only recognizes the value of emotional growth, but feels invested in the process. Only then can practices like journaling or breathwork truly take root.

Q6: How does EQ show up in personal branding?

A6: In personal branding, how you make people feel becomes your signature. Whether you’re on social media, speaking on stage, or leading a team—your emotional energy communicates faster than your resume ever could.

EQ helps you:

The most influential personal brands are emotionally resonant. They make their audience feel understood, safe, and seen. That’s EQ in action.


Q7: Can EQ help with burnout and overwhelm?

A7: One hundred percent.

Burnout often comes from emotional mismanagement—not just overwork. It’s about saying yes when you mean no, ignoring your needs, or pushing emotions aside.

When you’re emotionally intelligent, you:

Why Emotional Intelligence Matters Now More Than Ever

If you sense that emotional intelligence coaching holds great potential, you’re not alone. The world is only getting busier—and more stressful. In fact, stress is now recognized as one of the biggest culprits behind declining emotional intelligence worldwide.

Against this backdrop, developing your own emotional intelligence isn’t just a nice-to-have. It’s essential. By cultivating EQ, you not only boost your own well-being but also become better equipped to help others navigate our complex, demanding world—whether you’re a leader, a professional, or simply someone who wants to show up fully for the people you care about.

This is why at Luxury Unplugged, we redefine luxury not as excess—but as emotional clarity and peace. And it starts with EQ.


Q8: What if someone feels “too sensitive” to succeed in business?

A8: Sensitivity is not a weakness. It’s wisdom in disguise.

We’ve been conditioned to believe that to succeed, you must numb your feelings or toughen up. But the most soul-aligned leaders I coach are the ones who feel deeply. They lead with heart, intuition, and care.

The trick is to turn your sensitivity into discernment. When you regulate your emotions instead of being ruled by them, you become a powerful force of calm influence.

Your emotional depth is not a liability. It’s your superpower.


Q9: Are there tools or practices to build emotional intelligence?

A9: Yes, and here are some that I personally use and recommend in my coaching:

  1. Ho’oponopono – A Hawaiian healing practice to release emotional charge.
  2. Journaling – To process inner dialogue and subconscious beliefs.
  3. Identity Shifting – Assume the version of yourself who already has EQ mastery.
  4. Pause Practice – Count to 4 before reacting in tense situations.
  5. Daily Check-Ins – Ask: What am I feeling? Why am I feeling it? What do I need?

EQ is like a mirror—the more you look in, the clearer your outer world becomes.


But tools alone aren’t the whole story. Emotional intelligence coaching is more than handing over a checklist—it’s a dynamic, ongoing conversation. Instead of pointing out emotional blind spots and moving on, real EQ growth means:

It’s less about “fixing” and more about guiding you to see, feel, and respond with greater awareness—over time, you start observing your own patterns, catching yourself in the act, and choosing differently.

A Real-World Example

Imagine someone who always tries to keep the peace at work—even when it means swallowing how they truly feel. An EQ coach might use journaling to help them notice these moments, practice pausing before automatically saying “yes,” and role-play new, more authentic responses. They might even invite feedback from a trusted colleague to see how these changes land.

Often, it’s not about overhauling your personality, but making small, intentional tweaks that ripple out—strengthening your relationships, resilience, and sense of self.

If you want to go deeper, I recommend studying the core elements of EQ: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills. Try mapping out your own “wheel of emotions,” and notice how feelings can be useful messengers, not just obstacles.

The key is practice—small, steady steps that turn insight into lasting change.


Rewriting Conversations for Greater Emotional Intelligence

Another powerful exercise I recommend is to revisit conversations that didn’t go as planned. Think of a chat that left you feeling misunderstood, frustrated, or wishing you had handled things differently. Here’s how to approach it:

By treating these moments as learning opportunities, you turn old stories into new scripts for connection and understanding—boosting your EQ, one conversation at a time.

Reviewing Past Conversations for Greater Insight

Another powerful practice I recommend is to reflect on conversations that didn’t quite land the way you intended. Think of those awkward meetings, missed cues, or misunderstandings as opportunities in disguise.

These reflections can act as a personal EQ training ground. The more skillful you become at catching emotional signals in hindsight, the better equipped you’ll be to navigate challenging conversations moving forward. Think of it as reviewing your own highlight reel, not to dwell on fumbles, but to celebrate growth and refine your playbook for next time.

Foundational Steps to Launch Your Emotional Intelligence Coaching Practice

If you’re curious about what it takes to step confidently into emotional intelligence coaching, let’s keep it simple and actionable. Here’s how I recommend getting started:

  1. Self-Education
  2. Begin by immersing yourself in foundational literature—think Daniel Goleman’s classics, Brené Brown’s work, or even Harvard Business Review articles. Understanding the theory sets your base.
  3. Personal Mastery
  4. Before coaching others, turn the lens inward. Hone your own emotional intelligence using daily practices like mindfulness meditation, journaling, or even guided exercises on platforms like Headspace or Calm.
  5. Formal Training & Certification
  6. Pursue recognized EQ certifications, whether through organizations like Six Seconds, The Emotional Intelligence Training Company, or the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. This not only builds credibility but also expands your toolbox.
  7. Coaching Practice
  8. Start practicing—offer free sample sessions, volunteer with organizations, or coach peers and friends. Each conversation is a chance to refine your approach, spot patterns, and build confidence.
  9. Expand Your Toolkit
  10. Emotional intelligence coaching overlaps with areas like positive psychology, organizational behavior, and leadership development. Explore frameworks from Marshall Goldsmith or learn group dynamics from Tuckman’s stages of team development to round out your skillset.
  11. Community & Supervision
  12. Don’t go it alone. Join coaching communities, participate in supervision sessions, and seek feedback. LinkedIn groups or the International Coach Federation’s local chapters are good places to start.

Ultimately, the strongest EQ coaches are ongoing learners—curious, compassionate, and committed to their own growth as much as that of their clients. The journey begins on the inside and expands outward, one practice at a time.

Q10: How does a coach determine the best coaching method for a client?

A10: It starts with curiosity and deep listening. Before choosing any particular approach, I ask myself:

Once I understand where they’re coming from and where they want to go, I can match the method to their unique needs. Sometimes that’s a structured strategy; sometimes it’s more fluid and responsive, depending on what serves the client’s journey best. Think of it as selecting just the right pair of shoes for a marathon—comfort, fit, and function all matter if you want to cross the finish line empowered and whole.

Key Coaching Methods for Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

When it comes to building emotional intelligence, there are some tried-and-true frameworks that form the backbone of any effective coaching journey. Here are two of my favorites:

  1. Goal – Where do you want to be?
  2. Reality – Where are you right now?
  3. Options – What paths could take you forward?
  4. Will – What’s your commitment to moving ahead?

Coaching isn’t just about frameworks, though—it’s about tuning in. Before diving in, I always take stock: Is my client genuinely motivated? Do they understand the deeper ‘why’ behind their goal?

Here’s the good news: Everyone starts with some level of emotional intelligence. Some folks have it in spades; for others, it’s a skill waiting to be nurtured. As coaches, our role is to guide, educate, and offer consistent practice—like a trusty mirror helping you see yourself more clearly, until emotional mastery becomes second nature.

Why Coaching Skill Matters with EQ Tools

Even the best emotional intelligence tools are only as effective as the person using them. Think of a Stradivarius violin: in the hands of an amateur, it makes noise; in the hands of a maestro, it creates music. The same goes for EQ assessments—mastery comes from how you interpret, guide, and respond to the insights.

A skilled coach will:

In short, the art of coaching transforms these tools from static questionnaires to dynamic breakthroughs. It’s not just about asking the right questions—it’s about helping clients find their own answers.

Q10: Final thoughts—Why is EQ the future of influence?

A10: We’re living in a world that’s information-rich but connection-poor. Attention is short. Choices are many. What cuts through the noise is not just intelligence—it’s presence. Heart. Empathy.

Leaders of the future will be those who:

This is what influence will look like. Not domination—but resonance.

Not perfection—but authenticity.

In a world seeking truth, emotionally intelligent brands—and individuals—are the ones who will win.


Final Thoughts from Neeti

Emotional intelligence isn’t “nice to have.”

It’s the sharpest tool in your spiritual and business toolkit.

It makes you magnetic, resilient, and clear. It shapes your personal brand. It influences your energy. And it holds the key to building lasting trust in every area of life.

Whether you’re reinventing your identity, building a business, or just showing up more intentionally—EQ is your foundation.

So ask yourself today:

“Am I leading from force or from feeling?”

“Am I influencing through ego or empathy?”

When you lead with heart, the right people, opportunities, and success will always follow.

About Neeti Keswani

Hi, I’m Neeti Keswani—Business Storytelling Coach, Ho’oponopono Practitioner, and host of the Luxury Unplugged Podcast.

I help conscious leaders and entrepreneurs build brands with soul by aligning their identity, story, and energy. Through workshops, 1-on-1 coaching, and digital resources, I guide you to step into your most authentic and empowered version.

At Luxury Unplugged, we’re redefining success—not just as strategy, but as spiritual alignment. Not just as action, but as emotional awareness.

Ready to start your EQ journey?

DM me, or explore the links below.


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